Just life

Life is amazing. I love it. I find myself slipping into depression sometimes (a family trait), but once I slip out of it I look around and I think WHY........Why did I slip into that, and it happens a lot that I do. I have these amazing friends, and I really truly feel like I was born into the one and only true religion, not a cult, that really requires you to live the way God (Jehovah) wants you to. Every time I'm feeling down, out of nowhere, my dear friend Amy will call. I love her so much. Sometimes I feel like I rely on her too much. One day, I play these waste of time games online way too much, I met this amazing woman, DeeAnne. That night I dreamed about here. The next morning I got online and we just happened to find eachother..........without looking. I told her about my dream. Within' a few minutes I found out her father-in-law is one of Jehovah's Witnesses and it has caused a rift in her family. We've talked A LOT and she has told me how she's been curious about our religion but didn't want to ask questions and cause more problems. I've answered many of her questions and we have become really close. I just feel so lucky. I'm such a reserved person, but my faith has opened me up to so many people. I wish more people would take the time to listen. Too many think of us as a cult, but we are far from that. What other religion teaches the same exact thing in every place. There is no differentiation. Every Witness around the world believes the exact same thing. We all hold ourselves to the exact same standards, and we don't very at all. No false idols, no fornication or adultery, no stealing.......... I don't feel anywhere near perfect, but I know that if I start to stray, I have a close knit family to straighten me up. I'm so happy.

Me and mine

As I sit and listen to Aiden complain about not wanting to eat dinner, I can't believe how much I absolutely adore my little ones. I had tons of people today tell me that my kids are so well behaved. I always have people tell me that Austin is the smartest kid they know (and yes, he is brilliant, and not just "Mommy" brilliant.) I have good kids. They never get into things. They know what is good and what is bad. Sometimes I feel like I'm not that great of a parent, but today is not one of those days.

Aiden is OFFICIALLY POTTY TRAINED. I am super excited about that. That is about $60+ a month. I look around and see people that are just putting up with their children, and I don't want to be one of them.

I love my little family. As I sit and watch my sister's marriage fall apart, I can't help but realize I have an amazing husband. He loves me and the kids. I never doubt him. He is great. He supports us not only financially but also emotionally. I've noticed lately that most of my friends have abandoned their children to their own parents, who are just getting ready to retire. I don't understand the irresponsible tendensy of this generation.

I have enjoyed every milestone of my life (at least in some way). Up until high school it was peaches. High school taught me a lot about people. Then I got married, spent 4 1/2 years alone with my husband and then had Austin. There have been moments where I have felt like I'm going to lose my mind, but that's life.

My mom really wants me to have another baby, because Greg and I have such a great relationship, but we are honestly ready to move on to the next chapter (which I think we will have lots 'o fun with). ENJOYING OUR CHILDREN.

Having babies is OK. I thought it would be AMAZING, but there is the lack of sleep, diaper changing, being tied down, MONEY MONEY MONEY, stress of back to back doctor visits and not to mention POTTY TRAINING SUCKS. Now they are learning to do things that we really enjoy doing, and are so amazingly funny. I thought I would start to get bored after the baby years, but the opposite has happened.

I can't wait until they learn how to swim. We are planning on camping with them within the next few months. They play make believe. They attack us for fun. LOL. It's great! I think sometimes I need to sit and meditate upon how wonderful my life really is, and how so many people would be jealous if they knew how good I have it.

How sick of it I am........

Every time I hear anything about Jehovah's Witnesses (from non-Jehovah's Witnesses) it is something that is so untrue or misunderstood. It makes me sick. I just saw a blog from someone who was saying that JW kids are not allowed to talk to non-JW kids. HELLO!! They are in school with non-JWs all the time. My parents didn't let me spend too much time with non-JW friends because they didn't live by the same standards that my parents expected of me, and peer pressure is huge when you are a teenager. You are not as able to make good decisions. And what happened to all my school friends. Let's see. My best friend from high school got pregnant when we were Juniors and had to drop out. She is now raising her daughter on her own with the father no where to be found. Another friend got pregnant and married the guy, but he is very abusive. I had one good friend who started doing cocain, married an extremely abusive guy, had two kids with him, divorced him, gave up her kids (as did he) and now her mom is raising the children.....but she is raising them as Jehovah's Witnesses. Her daughter was never JW. I know a lot of the people I knew from high school are now drug addicts. If my parents had let me spend a lot of time with them, I could have very well ended up like them. I am happily married (for over 9 years) and have a 4 yr old & a 2 yr old, AND I am raising them as JWs. Have I been worse off for it. No. While everyone else is focused on the economy and how they will by Christmas presents for their kids/family/friends, I'm not. The failing economy and the strange weather was told to us as a sign of the time of the end years ago. Jehovah's Witnesses are not bad. We are not perfect. People love to focus on our mistakes, but we are imperfect humans. All of those friends from school I mentioned were Catholic, but no one would focus on that. I had never even noticed until thinking about it just now. People also like to look at how strict the Witnesses are and how much the door to door work annoys them. Maybe they should look at all the Witnesses beliefs and how they come straight from the Bible. Everyone thinks we just believe what the WT says, but they show us from the Bible. We have always looked at the Bible first and foremost. But if people would admit that, it would be one less bad thing for them to say about Witnesses. Now days people don't want 'The Truth' in a religion, they want a religion that will condone the way they want to live, but if you're living an immoral life and have no desire to change then you don't have God's approval.

Smart?

Sometimes I think I should just have blogspot on all the time during the day. I have these random thoughts that I want to put down, but I don't. Anyway, this will be short. I really just want to go to bed. Kids are great. Aiden still doesn't want to have anything to do with potty training. Drives me nuts, because by the time Austin was his age I had him completely potty trained. Night and all. Oh well, so goes life. The other day I was hanging out with my bro and sis and a good friend (Rick), and we were discussing life......death and all. Kinda a buzzed conversation (Curt always has a bottle of Whiskey to share). Anyway, we had been talking about all kinds of things earlier and then that conversation, and Rick leans over to me while everyone else was talking and says "You know, you are REALLY smart!" (in a serious way. You know when Rick's not being serious). Made me feel good. Sometimes I start to hate myself. I wish I liked myself a little more, but I don't. It's just nice to have someone else tell you.....I don't know.......just something good about yourself. Oh well, there you go. Someday I'm gonna have to do a photoblog, but I'm trying to save electricity, so I don't turn the computer on much. BUT!!!!........I willl......someday........not that anyone reads this nonsense. :)

KIDS!!!!

My whole thought.....my whole life is about my kids. Everything in my life involves my kids. I love them to death......yet I get so frustrated with them. I have really been trying to change that. Yes, kids are frustrating, but I want my kids to be kids and to know how much I really love them and enjoy being around them.

Once you have children, you almost feel crazy. I love them. Every thought I have of them is love.....but they are frustrating. Austin just pushes and pushes.......and Aiden has hit the terrible twos full force. But, every time I see a movie where a parent is about to lose their child, I can't help but cry. I wish I had some sort of social life now, but I don't. I stay home and it feel like "deal with the kids", but I have been trying to see it as being able to spend time with my kids before they go to school. I want to make an impression on them before the rest of the world can. That is what my parents did with me. I don't think it worked on the rest of my siblings, but it worked on me. I want to do all I can do to help them be good people. I want to show them that the teenage years may seem so very important.........the impression you make may seem important, but it is really doing the opposite of what everyone else expects/does that makes you a better person. I made my mistakes, but they were very minor. I don't really know what I am doing. Sometimes I feel lost. I just hope I do a better job of raising them than I feel like I'm doing.